~new moon~

Watching with aming last Thursday at the Mall,By the way, the movie is almost identical to the script, aside from one unnecessary trip to the theater.It doesn’t matter what anyone writes about New Moon at this point. Fans of the Twilight saga made up their minds to see the sequel long before Robert Pattinson was dodging taxis trying to escape hordes of those same impressionable Twilighters. I confess to having read the Stephenie Meyer novels, but I was baffled by the appeal of the cheaply-made original by Catherine Hardwicke.

Though now the franchise is an established hit, so Summit Entertainment is throwing more money around. The small studio replaced Hardwicke with a director more experienced with effects (Chris Weitz), but kept screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg for the faithful follow-ups. With the Twilight frenzy mounting, I perused a draft and compiled my thoughts.

The script begins with Bella (Kristen Stewart) quoting a line from “Romeo and Juliet” that reads “these violent delights have violent ends…” which might have been clever foreshadowing if she didn’t awaken from her disturbing dream with a copy of the Shakespearean tragedy resting on her bed, or if they weren’t watching the film version later in class. Then Edward (Pattinson) describes exactly how he would have commit suicide at the hands of the powerful Volturi coven if Bella was dead, which may as well accompany a neon sign for plot emphasis.

It’s all a bit cheesy, I suppose, but subtlety was never the novel’s strong suit. This is evidenced by Jacob (Taylor Lautner) sweetly presenting Bella with a hand-made dreamcatcher for her birthday and bluntly reminding Bella “it catches bad dreams.” You know, because she’s having nightmares… Smooth, Jacob (and Rosenberg).

Then there are a few quick scenes to remind everyone that the Cullens are, in fact, vampires with special powers. Reading minds, seeing the future, and controlling moods are all checked off in a few quick exchanges of dialogue. But a paper cut at her party causes a violent stir and soon the family reckons it’s time to leave. Edward gives his “It’s not you, it’s me” speech, which sounds more like “We can’t be together because I might kill you” and the vampires are gone.

Don’t worry Pattinson fans, Rosenberg has found a way to keep your precious crush a part of the plot. Edward consistently pops up in flashbacks to the original movie and makes a habit of appearing as apparition to Bella even after she recovers from a nearly catatonic depression. Team Jacob, however, will be happy to know he’s in just about every scene instead, offering his platonic shoulder to cry on.

After their friendship progresses, Jacob reveals that he can shape shift into a werewolf like the other members of his tribe. He then slowly explains they also have the capabilities to heal quickly and read each other’s minds. I think we all remember the giant, mind-reading wolves in Romeo and Juliet.

Bella’s thrill-seeking new lifestyle takes her to the edge of a cliff (alluded to twice already) before she throws herself off into the ocean where Victoria (the angry redhead vampire from the first) just happens to be waiting. Of all the cliffs, what’re the odds?

Edward finds out about her little swan dive and thinks she’s dead, so naturally he wants to go to Italy and have a coven of vampire police rip him apart. Just like he said he would! The Volturi are given a bit more to do in the movie than the book, which is good because aside from phantom whispering and incessant voiceover there’s not much else going on in this sequel.

The script feebly attempts to answer obvious questions like why Bella flies to Italy to stop Edward instead of just sending the super-speedy Alice (he won’t believe her!), why Edward doesn’t confirm Bella’s death (it’s all a misunderstanding!), or how a room full of the deadliest vampires is safer than a town with just one vengeful bloodsucker (the wolves can’t catch Victoria!). The book didn’t bother filling the plot holes, and Rosenberg doesn’t either.

Overall, the New Moon adaptation rarely deviates from the Meyer novel, which should delight anyone who has read it more than once. Thankfully the characters share a few less intense gazes this time (on paper any way). There’s only slightly more action this time for the guys (though mostly given away in the trailer), and plenty of teenage topless male nudity sexual tension for the ladies. It’s a simple, younger-skewing story spelled out explicitly at every step. Fans will have to rely on Weitz to inject some nuance with his direction.